Changes Ahead
/Cyndi and I decided to try out a new taco restaurant for Sunday lunch; it seemed reasonable enough since the line wasn’t out the door, a common occurrence in Midland whenever a new place opens.
I was on my knee scooter – the result of recent ankle surgery – so I found a table and set up camp while Cyndi jumped into the long line to order our tacos. I felt a little guilty sitting at a table, without any food, all by myself, for twenty minutes, but not enough guilty to give the table away and risk standing on one foot for another twenty minutes.
When Cyndi finally sat down with a tray of chips and queso, we talked about how we’ve traded back and forth through the years – one of us sits because we are exhausted or injured while the other gets food, or the one gets food while the other sits with their dad or mom who shouldn’t be sitting alone. We’ve learned to take turns without keeping score.
I wondered all the ways our relationship has changed – matured – through the years into something we never imagined in 1979 when we got married. Back then I didn’t expect a lot of changes, mostly because I was simply happy to get who I was getting. I couldn’t imagine anything improving after that.
* * * * *
Spanish Jesuit Carlos Valles’ wrote in his book, Sketches of God, “If you always imagine God in the same way, no matter how true and how beautiful it may be, you will not be able to receive the gift of the new ways he has ready for you.”
At first, I was a bit nervous when reading this, the idea that God will change, or at least my understanding and relationship to God will change. I kept remembering that God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. But now I know that not only should I be OK with the changes, but I should also expect them if I want to grow into the new ways He has for me.
* * * * *
Last Friday I read Isaiah 48:6, which says, “From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you.” (NIV)
In The Message, it says, “I have a lot more to tell you, things you never knew existed. This isn’t a variation on the same old thing. This is new, brand-new, something you’d never guess or dream up. When you hear this you won’t be able to say, ‘I knew that all along.’”
I don’t expect God to show me any deep secrets or hidden codes or secret handshakes, but I want him to open my eyes to see his deep truths hidden in the events of everyday life.
Or as Eugene Peterson writes, in the everydayness of life.
* * * * *
One of the surprising changes in my life as I get older is that instead of resisting change I look forward to it. I don’t want to stay the same; I want to grow deeper, broader, less opinionated, and fuller of grace. And that only happens if I embrace changes in the everydayness of life.
Joan Chittister, a Benedictine nun and author, wrote this about change: “Certainty comes at the price of both liberty and creativity. It nails my feet to the floor and calls it a success.”
* * * * *
My friend and mentor, Rabon, introduced me a book titled, God, Improve, and the Art of Living, my Mary Ann McKibben Dana. She wrote, “Church taught me there was a plan for my life; my job was to decipher the plan and fulfill it. Improve taught me that there was no master plan or single truth. My job was to listen and discover whatever truth was unfolding onstage.”
I want to be present and aware as my relationship with God, and my relationship with Cyndi, unfolds.
* * * * *
As it turned out, whatever cheese they put on Cyndi’s taco was not what she had in mind. So I traded with her. I gave her my taco and she gave me hers. I won’t order the taco she got if we come to this restaurant again, I didn’t like it that much, but it didn’t put off my feed.
I’m glad we had a new place to go. Sometimes we feel like nestling into the familiar, whether it’s our understanding of God, or our interactions with each other, or where we eat lunch, which usually means Rosa’s, which makes us happy every time. But we both look forward to our changing future and the surprises ahead of us. I wonder what hidden things God will tell us next.
“I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32
