Letting Go While Holding On

One morning last week I resurrected a spiritual practice that I hadn’t observed for decades: reviewing Bible verse cards when I run. About two miles in I flipped over one of my favorites, from Psalm 1.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.

      I remembered something Eugene Peterson wrote: “This is a domestic tree planted on purpose, not a wild species growing by chance.”

      In 1999, I wrote in the margin of my Bible, “Lord, I want to be well planted.”

      In 2014 I wrote, “Lord, I want to be a planter of trees.”

*   *   *   *   *

      There is a Bible story from 1 Samuel 3, about the time God spoke to the young boy Samuel. He heard God call to him three times in the middle of the night, and all three times he mistook the voice of God to be the voice of Eli, an elderly priest and Samuel’s mentor.

      Each time he heard the voice he jumped out of bed and ran to Eli, “Here I am!”

      Eli was confused at first, knowing he didn’t call the boy, but he eventually understood Samuel was hearing the voice of God. He said, “If the voice comes again, reply, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’”

      In my book, Trail Markers, I wrote: “It’s our responsibility as seasoned leaders to not forget the voice of God, and to help young Samuels know how to recognize God’s voice when they hear it.”

*   *   *   *   *

      When reading these Bible stories, I can’t help but put myself in the place of one of the characters – usually the hero, for some reason – and I wonder how I would have responded in the same situation. But over time, my perspective changed, and the characters I identify with have changed as well. Where I used to wonder how I’d have reacted if I were Samuel, now I think of myself as Eli. My viewpoint has shifted from that of the young receiver of advice to the older giver.

*   *   *   *   *

      One of the prime motivators of my life, the thing that drives almost everything I do, comes from Luke 12:48 ... “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

      I was blessed with a family who loved me and loved God: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and brother. I have much to give back.

*   *   *   *   *

      Tuesday morning in Michelle’s gentle yoga class (my wife Cyndi handpicks my classes based on what she thinks I’m capable of doing), I heard about a concept called aparigraha, a term that translates to non-greed and non-attachment. It’s about letting go.

      I thought about aged Eli and how he graciously let go of his place as the only one who heard from God and made room for, even encouraged, young Samuel. In the same way, we older guys who’ve been following Jesus for a long time – we Eli’s – have an obligation to share with the Samuels in our life.

“I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32